I can't believe I forgot to mention the footsteps, but it happens constantly to the point where I don't think of it as part of the weirdness. Footsteps in the house. Footsteps walking down the hall. Footsteps outside on the patio by the kitchen. Footsteps in the bathroom. Footsteps behind me while I'm on the computer! And every time I check, no one is around.
"Hey, if you noise makers can see this, and need to talk, then talk. How can I help?"
And as I'm writing this, there is the sound of footsteps right outside my porch door.
"Hellooo...?"
Aaaaannnd nothing.
I'll keep you posted.
Peace, love and noisy light...
LaSal
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Noisy Dead
What do you do when the dead won't leave you alone? I mean how do you live with the sound of doors slamming, doors opening, doors shutting, closets being opened and shut, drawers being opened and shut, water turning on and off, and when you check... nothing. Lately there is the constant sounds of people coming and going. And there's the sound of voices, conversations... like the house is full of people! But it's not. I'm getting the the point where I'm not answering the door anymore because most of the time 'nobody' is there. No BODY. Too many times I go to say hello because I think someone has come home, and once again, no one is there. I've asked if I can help... no answer yet. I've asked if there's a message... no answer yet. Have I made the place too comfortable? I've started having tea in the afternoons... do they think they're invited? Do they need invitations? It's getting weird around here. And knowing my life, that's saying something!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Vajazzling? Really?
Have you heard about the newest sparkling trend out there? I first saw it on a twitter post, and then watched the Jennifer Love Hewitt interview on Lopez Tonight and listened as she told the world about her disco ball bedazzled vajayjay. WHAT?? You heard it right. You can now Vajazzle you vajayjay. It's even sparked an endless array of blogs on the subject, as well as a Facebook fan page. Sounds like fun.
But, once you go beyond this new fad, could there a more serious concern lurking in the future of women-kind?
Think of the last 100 years or so, how the landscape of a woman's body has changed. We started out bra-less and unshaven. Looking back now, how saggy and hairy were we? Of course we started shaving off the unwanted hair. It was no longer acceptable to be encased in a forest of fur from belly button down. And braiding the armpits was a no-no. Fine, we took off most of the hair. So we shave, scrape, wax, rip, chemically dissolve...whatever works.
Then came the bra. First it just squeezed our boobs into rocket points. Then it lifted them up. Then it lifted them up higher. Then it added some extra fake boobage in the form of padding, and then water, then gels. The fake boobs should feel as real as possible as your real boobs are lifted as high as modern engineering will allow to have two round mounds jutting out and up against your chin. Eventually they'll join forces with the skin sagging from your jowls and neck, possibly adding yet another cup size. Always attractive.
Then, while the hair left on your head had to be as big as possible, you now had to trim the patch left at the other end. Trim, trim, shape, trim, snip, shape... remember the Mohawk? But even that wasn't enough. We had to wax.... slather the most delicate area with hot wax, let it harden and then RIP it all out. Supposedly it's only the hair getting ripped off.
So, from head to toe, we are coiffed, hoisted, and polished smooth. And now that's not enough. We need to add some sparkles to the newly waxed areas. Why? Is something missing? Makes you wonder if cave-women wove tiny beads and little bone ornaments to their furry, unshorn parts.
What's next? Pittazzling? Shouldn't we bedazzle those bare armpits for summer when everyone can see them? What else? Dare I say it? Assazzling?
I'm actually a little scared.....
Peace, love and sparkling light,
LaSal
But, once you go beyond this new fad, could there a more serious concern lurking in the future of women-kind?
Think of the last 100 years or so, how the landscape of a woman's body has changed. We started out bra-less and unshaven. Looking back now, how saggy and hairy were we? Of course we started shaving off the unwanted hair. It was no longer acceptable to be encased in a forest of fur from belly button down. And braiding the armpits was a no-no. Fine, we took off most of the hair. So we shave, scrape, wax, rip, chemically dissolve...whatever works.
Then came the bra. First it just squeezed our boobs into rocket points. Then it lifted them up. Then it lifted them up higher. Then it added some extra fake boobage in the form of padding, and then water, then gels. The fake boobs should feel as real as possible as your real boobs are lifted as high as modern engineering will allow to have two round mounds jutting out and up against your chin. Eventually they'll join forces with the skin sagging from your jowls and neck, possibly adding yet another cup size. Always attractive.
Then, while the hair left on your head had to be as big as possible, you now had to trim the patch left at the other end. Trim, trim, shape, trim, snip, shape... remember the Mohawk? But even that wasn't enough. We had to wax.... slather the most delicate area with hot wax, let it harden and then RIP it all out. Supposedly it's only the hair getting ripped off.
So, from head to toe, we are coiffed, hoisted, and polished smooth. And now that's not enough. We need to add some sparkles to the newly waxed areas. Why? Is something missing? Makes you wonder if cave-women wove tiny beads and little bone ornaments to their furry, unshorn parts.
What's next? Pittazzling? Shouldn't we bedazzle those bare armpits for summer when everyone can see them? What else? Dare I say it? Assazzling?
I'm actually a little scared.....
Peace, love and sparkling light,
LaSal
Sunday, February 21, 2010
It's A Cycle
My sister-in-law regularly posts on FB about her struggle with waking up WAY too early, like 3 and 4 AM. One of our cousins kindly explained it's her age. Could this actually be a life cycle?
Birth = Sleep between feedings all day and all night.
Childhood = Sleep at night, awake most of the day.
Teens - 20's = Awake all night, awake most of the day, sleep occasionally.
30's - 40's= Back to sleep at night, awake most of the day.
40's - 50's = Sleep at night, but start waking effortlessly at the crack of dawn.
50's - 60's = Start falling asleep while it's still light out, and waking while it's still dark out.
60's -70's = Back to awake at night, sleep at any other opportune moment.
70's -80's = Sleep from after lunch straight though to dusk, awake all night.
80's + = Back to the beginning, sleep between feedings all day and all night.
Like any cycle, there are bound to be exceptions.... but there does seem to be a pattern.
Peace, love and healthy sleep,
LaSalzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Birth = Sleep between feedings all day and all night.
Childhood = Sleep at night, awake most of the day.
Teens - 20's = Awake all night, awake most of the day, sleep occasionally.
30's - 40's= Back to sleep at night, awake most of the day.
40's - 50's = Sleep at night, but start waking effortlessly at the crack of dawn.
50's - 60's = Start falling asleep while it's still light out, and waking while it's still dark out.
60's -70's = Back to awake at night, sleep at any other opportune moment.
70's -80's = Sleep from after lunch straight though to dusk, awake all night.
80's + = Back to the beginning, sleep between feedings all day and all night.
Like any cycle, there are bound to be exceptions.... but there does seem to be a pattern.
Peace, love and healthy sleep,
LaSalzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Open Invoice To Tiger Woods
Dear Tiger:
I heard about your televised apology to everyone, although luckily I was able to miss the live broadcast. Sadly, your oral apology has done nothing for me. However, apologizing by sending me large amounts of cash will go a long way in assuaging my tattered feelings over your horrifying indiscretions.
If you do not intend to do right by literally paying for what you've done, then get off my TV!
Sincerely
LaSal
Invoice to Tiger:
Well, I checked, and you're still clogging up my viewing pleasure. Therefore, having received no financial apology from you, I am submitting this invoice in the amount of $1,000,000 (a pittance considering how terribly I've been wronged) because of the torture to which I have been subjected in the form of ENDLESS reports of your unbeneficial oral apology splashing your tiresome face on my personal TV screen causing me further, severe emotional and mental damage.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
LaSal
I heard about your televised apology to everyone, although luckily I was able to miss the live broadcast. Sadly, your oral apology has done nothing for me. However, apologizing by sending me large amounts of cash will go a long way in assuaging my tattered feelings over your horrifying indiscretions.
If you do not intend to do right by literally paying for what you've done, then get off my TV!
Sincerely
LaSal
Invoice to Tiger:
Well, I checked, and you're still clogging up my viewing pleasure. Therefore, having received no financial apology from you, I am submitting this invoice in the amount of $1,000,000 (a pittance considering how terribly I've been wronged) because of the torture to which I have been subjected in the form of ENDLESS reports of your unbeneficial oral apology splashing your tiresome face on my personal TV screen causing me further, severe emotional and mental damage.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
LaSal
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
TV Time
Yes, it's that time again. The new season brings back some old familiar shows and some new shows.
Most importantly, of course, Burn Notice is back. Thank goodness! Just eat your blueberry yogurt and feel the BURN! It's so great to have a show that gets better with each passing season.
Survivor is back for season 20 with a new gimmick. Villains VS. Heroes. Dang... who to root for, who to root for. I liked Sugar, but she got voted out first! How mean! I guess I'll have to root for Rupert. How can anyone not root for that hairy smile... lol!
And then American Idol has started again. Tonight will be the individual singers singing for their place in the top 24. There are some amazing talents this year again, and it's fun to see them grow with the show.
Oh, and then there's a new show. Human Target. Somewhere it was described as '007 on steroids'. Very apt! Love, love, loving this one! Mark Valley and crew solve problems that are pretty much unsolvable. Sounds a bit like BN, right? In a way, perhaps... but it's completely different, too. Refreshingly different and fun to watch. Tomorrow night, right before AI. Have fun!!!
Peace, love, and flickering TV lights,
LaSal
Most importantly, of course, Burn Notice is back. Thank goodness! Just eat your blueberry yogurt and feel the BURN! It's so great to have a show that gets better with each passing season.
Survivor is back for season 20 with a new gimmick. Villains VS. Heroes. Dang... who to root for, who to root for. I liked Sugar, but she got voted out first! How mean! I guess I'll have to root for Rupert. How can anyone not root for that hairy smile... lol!
And then American Idol has started again. Tonight will be the individual singers singing for their place in the top 24. There are some amazing talents this year again, and it's fun to see them grow with the show.
Oh, and then there's a new show. Human Target. Somewhere it was described as '007 on steroids'. Very apt! Love, love, loving this one! Mark Valley and crew solve problems that are pretty much unsolvable. Sounds a bit like BN, right? In a way, perhaps... but it's completely different, too. Refreshingly different and fun to watch. Tomorrow night, right before AI. Have fun!!!
Peace, love, and flickering TV lights,
LaSal
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thoughts On The Grammys
Did you watch the Grammys Last Night? Are you able to keep from commenting on some of the costumes? Or the acts? I send love out to everyone. I try not to judge, but if you're showing up at awards shows and have made an effort to be judged, it's fair game. So, here are some of my reactions, and thoughtful advice.
For instance, since when is dressing in things, not clothing, called 'art'? It's not an 'art' show...it's a music awards show. Wear something musical, not something indescribable. Case in point, as always, Lady GaGa. And did Armani really design that for her? With a huge rise in the 'hem' line in front that forces people to literally 'look up her dress'? At least pretend to be embarrassed that people are looking up your hoohah.
JLo: I didn't see the whole outfit, but the part I did see looked like she was stuffed into a sausage casing with a sparkly ribbon stuck to the front. Let the dress caress you, not boa constrict you!
Pink: Loved, loved, LOVED her dress; my fav of the night. And her act was stunning! Though if I was her mother I might not have survived watching her do that without a safety harness.
Nicole Kidman: Is she just freakishly tall, or does she simply fall for hobbit sized men? And why dress up like the little man's nanny? Sorry... she just seemed to come off that way. Maybe lose the heels?
Beyonce: The dress in which she arrived was gorgeous. Then she did an act with a dress that looked to made from floor tile samples. Chalk it up to the fact she was performing, but still, floor tile samples?
Rhianna: Why wear a dress that deliberately makes your hips look bigger? Keep it on the curtain rod.
Fergie: Was that dress from the set of 'Sex Trek Does The Grammys'? A little out there, but still fun.
Ryan Seacrest tweeted : britney just ran by with an entourage of 100...#grammys
Apparently she needs to be kept from interacting with humans. Understandable since she showed up in her grandmothers swimsuit and a see-through cover up. Sadly, it didn't cover up. Britney, fire whoever told you you looked good.
The tribute to MJ: Not bad. Not great. Should have been better.
The Jacksons have started a new reality show in the wake of MJ's death. Why now? Because they're already in the news so the timings perfect? And now that he's not here to keep his kids out of the public eye, it almost seems as though his family is pimping them out. And the public is obviously going to eat it up, judging by the gripping, tension ridden, hush that fell over the boisterous crowd as the kids spoke. MJ might be rolling over on the other side.
Peace, love and Grammy Lights!
LaSal
For instance, since when is dressing in things, not clothing, called 'art'? It's not an 'art' show...it's a music awards show. Wear something musical, not something indescribable. Case in point, as always, Lady GaGa. And did Armani really design that for her? With a huge rise in the 'hem' line in front that forces people to literally 'look up her dress'? At least pretend to be embarrassed that people are looking up your hoohah.
JLo: I didn't see the whole outfit, but the part I did see looked like she was stuffed into a sausage casing with a sparkly ribbon stuck to the front. Let the dress caress you, not boa constrict you!
Pink: Loved, loved, LOVED her dress; my fav of the night. And her act was stunning! Though if I was her mother I might not have survived watching her do that without a safety harness.
Nicole Kidman: Is she just freakishly tall, or does she simply fall for hobbit sized men? And why dress up like the little man's nanny? Sorry... she just seemed to come off that way. Maybe lose the heels?
Beyonce: The dress in which she arrived was gorgeous. Then she did an act with a dress that looked to made from floor tile samples. Chalk it up to the fact she was performing, but still, floor tile samples?
Rhianna: Why wear a dress that deliberately makes your hips look bigger? Keep it on the curtain rod.
Fergie: Was that dress from the set of 'Sex Trek Does The Grammys'? A little out there, but still fun.
Ryan Seacrest tweeted : britney just ran by with an entourage of 100...#grammys
Apparently she needs to be kept from interacting with humans. Understandable since she showed up in her grandmothers swimsuit and a see-through cover up. Sadly, it didn't cover up. Britney, fire whoever told you you looked good.
The tribute to MJ: Not bad. Not great. Should have been better.
The Jacksons have started a new reality show in the wake of MJ's death. Why now? Because they're already in the news so the timings perfect? And now that he's not here to keep his kids out of the public eye, it almost seems as though his family is pimping them out. And the public is obviously going to eat it up, judging by the gripping, tension ridden, hush that fell over the boisterous crowd as the kids spoke. MJ might be rolling over on the other side.
Peace, love and Grammy Lights!
LaSal
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