How Stupid Are You?

You know when you see someone doing something so stupid, you just stop and stare. And realize your jaw is hanging in shock with your mouth open? Yeah. That happened to me today.

I had to go to the county office to pay for something (big surprise, the county wanting money). I've been there before. Many times. Never a problem. Today, I walk up to the doors and nothing happens. I see the sign says 'Automatic Door' so I step back and wait. Nothing. I wave my hand in front of door, hoping to activate whatever electronic eye might be watching. Nothing. Step to the left. Step to the right. Nothing. I tentatively push on the door. Nothing. I give both doors a good shove. Nothing. I'm ready to leave, frustrated, when I see a man walk up ready to go inside. I tell him, in my highly indignant voice, "I think they're closed!"

"Isn't today Friday?" Says he.

"It is!" Says I, still indignant.

"Then they should be open." Explains he, patiently.

"Exactly what I thought!" Says I, growing painfully annoyed now. "But the doors aren't opening!"

"What do you mean?" He asks, looking slightly concerned now.

"I mean, they don't move!" I prove my point by waving my hands in front of doors again.

At this point a group of people try to come out the doors. They can't because I'm standing in the way of said doors. I back up a step, mostly because of they way they're looking at me through the glass. They push and the doors swing open a bit. I back up another step, they push the doors open all the way, give me the "Look out, Stupid!" look, and out they walk. I look over at the guy, and he has that 'Oh my, aren't you incredibly stupid' look on his face as the doors swing shut again.

"I thought they were automatic doors," I protest in my defense.

"No, no. We use the handles." He punctuated his point by grabbing one of the handles. Great big, obvious, in front of my face, normal door handles. " It's only automatic when the guard presses that button, " he explained. Slowly. So stupid people could understand. He pointed to the button, as if to prove to my slow witted mind such a thing existed. A big, gigantic, hand sized button with the words 'Automatic Door Button' written on it. Next to the guards desk. "See?"

I looked from him to the button and back at him. "It's for people who can't open the door themselves," he explained further. And in a way that made it clear that he fully expected me to be able to open the door using the handles. Quickly, he tugged the doors open again, let me in, then hurried away. I started down the hall, marveling at my own absentminded stupidity, when I noticed the guard. Staring at me. With that same look.

Peace, love and light,
LaSal